Hi, I’m Kristen. I graduated with my BSN in 2014 and began my career in a hospital Women’s Services Unit as a new grad. For the past 9 years, I’ve been working at a freestanding birth center, where I’ve grown from a birth center nurse to the Director of Nursing and Education.

 

My passion for birth began when I was 19, watching my aunt give birth to my cousin in a hospital room. The experience opened my eyes to the profound beauty of bringing new life into the world. Since then, I’ve been fascinated by childbirth, devouring every birthing story I could find. When I became pregnant and discussed my birth plans with my mom, I realized how much I wanted to minimize interventions. My mom’s experiences with unmedicated births sparked my curiosity about the diverse possibilities of childbirth.

 

I can’t pinpoint the exact reason why I wanted what I wanted, but I just knew. I didn’t want to be induced, I didn’t want pain medication, and I wanted to be able to feel and move around. This is when I came to realize that my preferences were not the norm and went against the mainstream narrative. My provider was less than supportive. I consented to having my water broken at my provider’s recommendation, even though I preferred to let it rupture spontaneously. Things escalated quickly—imagine going from 10 to 100 in a matter of seconds. That’s what it felt like for me.

 

I went into labor spontaneously, had made cervical change, and was coping very well—I wouldn’t have even known I was in labor if I hadn’t started bleeding. Once my water was broken, everything changed. I remember my provider coming in, encouraging me to get an epidural, breaking my water, and then leaving for her child’s soccer game. My partner at the time was in the waiting room with his 4-year-old, waiting for his parents to come sit with her. Meanwhile, my nurse had told my family and friend to step out because “this wasn’t about them.”

 

So there I was, lying in bed with the monitor on, IV fluids running, sitting in a puddle of fluid—alone, scared, and for the first time since labor started, in pain.

 

You can guess what happened next—I said, “I can’t do this, I want the epidural.” Not once did any of the nurses sit with me and say, “You can do this.”

 

Have you ever tried sitting up while feeling like you’re sitting on a basketball? Well, I have, and it’s super uncomfortable! I kept telling my nurse that I felt like I needed to push while trying to sit still for the epidural placement and was met with, “No, you don’t,” multiple times. On the second try, the epidural was placed, and I told the nurse, “I have to push.” This time she told me to lay back, and she’d check. I kid you not, I was complete and was told, “Don’t push, I need to call the doctor!”

 

You guessed it, my body was not waiting for the doctor—I had no control, my body was birthing this baby. The doctor was still getting her gown on when I was crowning. Admitted at 2:30 p.m. at 6 cm, pushing around 5:45, and she was born at 6:08 p.m.

 

I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I wasn’t educated on all my options. I didn’t know what a doula or midwife was. I didn’t know birth outside of a hospital was a possibility! Let alone that there were people who would fully support my exact wishes.

 

I wasn’t trying to be difficult. I didn’t expect a prize at the end because I had a baby without medication. It was just what felt right for me. I wanted to have that experience for myself.

 

I can say this with confidence: had I had someone who believed in me and took the time to understand me, I could have experienced the birth I had envisioned without unnecessary interventions.

 

My personal experience led me to discover my greatest strength and what feeds my soul—empowering, supporting, and educating others to define their own birthing journey. It’s not about interventions, the setting, or the provider—it’s about the person being an active participant in their care, having the knowledge to ask questions and explore all of their options, the confidence to voice their concerns, and challenging the mainstream narrative to make the best decisions for themselves and their baby.

 

Birthing with a Purpose—it matters! If you don’t make the decisions, someone else will. Your voice and choices are crucial in shaping your birthing experience. When you’re informed and empowered, you can advocate for yourself and your baby, ensuring that your wishes are respected and your journey is uniquely yours. Don’t leave your birth experience in the hands of others—take charge, ask questions, and make the decisions that feel right for you.